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Noture Creepypastas (updates weekly)

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Noture Creepypastas (updates weekly)

Postby Krios » 16 Dec 2014, 12:25

So i made this as a entertainment thing, and for telling most unknow horror stories, they are long also!
Enjoy
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-Karma(note:this story is divided in ´registers´)

1st register
somepeople know this as like:do a bad thing and you gonna be repaid with bad things, but this is at extreme...
´I comited a bad error, i think i was crazy, i never gonna forgive that idiot error, i dont know exactly how he looks, i only know his name is karma, i think he was going to protect me but i was wrong.
Someday happened a ritual, named karma´s judment, the legend about the ritual is one day you do this, karma gonna help you, and say if you are a good person or a bad person, if he decides that you are a good person he gonna make your life a Paradise, all your dreams come true, but if he see that you are a bad person... it gonna happen all this i gonna report.
it must be a error, impossible, iam a good person i thougt the ritual dont functioned, but later i realized i was cursed, i runned to my house crying and i found my dog splited in two...somedays later i cant sleep anymore, whenever i look to a mirror or a window i see a black thing.

2nd register
i cannot sleep, if i sleep he gonna attack me or kill me, i sleep a bit:5 seconds and karma was in front of me, he assumes a form of a boy with brown wild hair, it clothes are just brown coverages to the neek to feet, it eyes i cannot see, but his mouth was all sewn, he looked to me, i feelend a horrible pain all over my skin, i runned to a mirror to see human nail markage all over my body
he marked me for some reason he marked me,

3rd register
this is the 5th day without sleep, to make me awake i drinked loads of energenics, adrenaline pills and cofee, that dont helped i begin to cut my arms to the pain make me awake, until now i made 8 cuts, the legend also say:if a bad person judged by karma had contact with other people that person also gonna suffer, i heard a person on my door in this exact moment

4th register
i dont know anymore what is day and what is night! the cuts on my arm now cover it completely! but it dont help anymore...so i cutted my finger, i used hot metal to heal it

5th register
(sad voice)he talk to me! i can hear whispers all over my house and my head!(even sadier voice) he telled me how he was before!
oh god i dont want to know this! i dont need to know this! when a boy, whoever take care of him, tortured him and hit him in terrible maners! whiping him and seweng his mouth... and when he tried to sleep thei put him in more painfull and sick way! so he now want revenge, making bad people suffer! i dont know why he telled me that! i dont want to know this! i felled bad for him! but i cant stand this anymore! someone help me! iam awake until that dam ritual! that dam moment i decided to do this! o cant stand anymore! i cutted all my feet fingers and all of my left hand! i dont want to feel this pain anymore someone help me!

6th register
i cant stand anymore... iam soo tired, and i cutted my whole left feet, recently i looked at holes on my sides that where not there before, the worst part of not sleeping is dont think, only thinking of hurt myself to stay awake

7th register
i cant sleep anymore, this is impossible! i just want to sleep...

last register
now he is becoming more agressive! all the sides i can hear his laugh and screams from the floor! but i dont even have a basement!
but the worst part is hear a child crying with him! this is the last register! when i finish this i gonna out fire on my house! good bye
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enjoyed the story? post a reply of what you think of it
Krios
 
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Joined: 14 Dec 2014, 18:00

Re: Noture Creepypastas (updates weekly)

Postby Dark Deceiver » 17 Dec 2014, 13:20

Felt very anti-climatic, as well as had a rushed feel to it. I couldn't get myself invested in the story, or interested in what was happening, and I couldn't sympathize with the person whose POV the story was told from.

The multiple spelling errors distracted me, and held the story down tremendously. Reading the story was a chore, something that you want to avoid when writing.
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Dark Deceiver
 
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